Flow with the change.

Y'all,

So...right off the bat, let me just tell you that I am currently in the middle of this "developing" phase. God is really changing my perspective on A LOT of things. Everything that I thought about relationships, purpose, the Kingdom of God, Righteousness, Religion, marriage, what a Godly woman looks like…its all changing. While I’m at a space where I’m much more open to the change…it hasn’t always been like this.

When I first realized that my thoughts, desires, and perspectives on life were changing, I thought I was getting too “wordly.” I thought I was negatively changing because I (really God) was separating me from doctrine and from people that I’d been around for a long time. I remember crying in my apartment, like “God what is going on? I’m confused because this is how it used to be and this is what they said it was, but now I see that it’s really this. What is going on?"

I was in a state of confusion, and 1 Corinthians 14:33 plainly states that God is not the author of confusion, but of peace. I thought FOR SURE this couldn't be God.

Turns out: God wasn’t the problem. It was me.  I was so closed off to God’s pruning. I was going through a God-change and because God was going against a lot of the principles that I thought were “real spiritual,” I got defensive. Straight up: I was being prideful, equating what I thought was righteous to what God thought was righteous. Knowing good and well…God’s thoughts have always been and will forever be higher than mine.

I wasn’t flowing with the wave of change. I was fighting it. Problem #1.

It reminds me of the period of time I was taking swimming lessons with my brothers. We quickly learned Rule #1: "Don’t fight the water. The water will always win. It’s water. It will kill you." At the same time, that same water, if you position yourself correctly, can help you float. Metaphorically, I wasn’t floating with the Holy Spirit’s correction. I was all out of position.  My pride was fighting the water and guess who was going to win that battle? Not ya girl.

James 1:5 says, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." Matthew 7:7 says, "Ask and it shall be given to you; seek , and you will find; knock and it will be opened to you." 2 Timothy 2:7 says, "Consider what I say; for the lord will give thee understanding in everything." [MSG]

…but how crazy did I look? I’m sitting here asking God to give me wisdom. I’m asking God to help me be "kingdom-minded"…all that good stuff…and when He’s trying to give me this longed-for wisdom: I’m barely, if at all, receiving it.

Aren’t we all like this in some form or fashion? Forgive us, Father! I never want to get to a point where I’m resisting correction. If we are “clay” in the Potter’s hands, then we have to prepare ourselves for what the change may look like and what it might feel like. We have to solely give our will to God and get out the way, knowing that everything’s going to be okay.

Y’all,  I never learned how to swim (I have a problem with "yielding" to water. Pray for me)…but thank God I’m having much more success with learning to flow with God’s change.

Peace & Blessings!

- Court