I Don't Need A Man: Feminism, Damsels, and 1 Corinthians 7

So, after reading the title you're either like - "Yes, girl. Tell them, sis!" or you're like "Here we go again with another angry black woman bashing men. *eye-roll*" (or you're neither....)

Which ever category you fit in...just hear me out.

Before I get to the "I don't need a man" statement/Feminism, can we dispel this taboo of singleness?

Apparently, there’s this overarching goal of marriage that women are supposed to aspire towards. It doesn’t even have to be stated. It’s just there. Looming. Lurking. Seeking whom it may devour...

Personally, marriage has never been a personal goal. Not until recently (the last few months) have I even entertained the thought of marriage. I’m not saying that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Honestly, it can be both, depending on what God is calling me to. I am saying, however, that singleness can be a blessing.

Because of this perpetuated goal, there are people who really want to be married that God hasn't even called to marriage and there are people who don’t want to get married that God is BLANTANTLY calling to marriage. At the end of the day, it’s important to not make marriage an idol that you run from because you’re afraid of or an idol that you obsessively exalt because you really want it or you really think you’re supposed to have it. Enjoy your SINGLE SEASON. Don’t let stuffy church people or off-based unchurched people ruin this season for you (for us).

Don’t take my word for it. Paul, who is like the premier apostle of all time, says singleness is a gift. In 1 Corinthians 7: 7 Paul says: “Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me.” [MSG] He calls it a “simpler” life. He says that celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is.

Before we move on...

Here, Paul is equating singleness to celibacy, meaning "singleness" is not for everyone.  How do we know this to be true? Because if you’re single, you’re supposed to be celibate. So take that pass you thought you had to go smash someone you are not married to and rip it up.  Throw it away. Do not pass go…do not collect $200. Don’t do that because that’s not what that means. Don’t hurt yourself.

God gives the gift of the singleness to some and he gives the gift of married life to others. Paul calls them both gifts from God.

…and now to Feminism...

I don’t call myself a feminist, for social/historical reasons...nothing biblical. Simply stated, Feminism, at its core, wasn’t for (and still fails to address) issues of black women and I just feel a little crazy saying I’m a feminist being that I’m a black woman. At any rate, I can understand certain feministic principles. The movement has its perks and its valleys. One popular feministic theme is that “As a woman, I don’t need a man.” I’d say because of the (legitimate) valleys of the movement, some people who are against the movement tend to be against that statement. I think there’s biblical proof that that statement can be legitimate.

2 Thessalonians 1:2 (MSG) says, “Our God gives you everything you need." The inverse of that statement is “If God didn’t give it to me, I apparently don’t need it.” That includes a man (as mate) or whatever else I don’t have right now. At least in this season of my life...I don’t need it. That does not mean that men do not have a place in the world. That is not male bashing. That doesn’t mean that men don’t matter and that doesn’t mean that at some point in this purpose-driven journey I’m on God won't see fit for me to marry a man.  I ain feening for that, but that’ll be a cool gift, too (especially if this man loves Jesus, has a coin, and is over 6’5. I’m just saying…).

Nonetheless, I can affirmatively say RIGHT NOW…WITH NO CONVICTIONS:

I am not a damsel in distress.

I am not locked in a tower.

I do not need some human being to come save me from some misery that's not even there.

I’m hiding in Christ. In fact, I often ask God to completely exhaust this season of my life and get as much glory as He possibly can during this season of my life. That's my honest desire.

Now, if at some point God wants to unveil me as wife, then so be it….but for right now...in this season of my life: 

I don’t need a man.