…but can He do it for me, tho?

So, something SUPER dope just happened and I had to share it!

Quick Background:

So recently, the Holy Spirit has sort of convicted me about the depths of my faith. I realized that there was never any doubt in me that God was capable of doing dope, amazing, and wonderful things. It was always a question of…..”Well, will He do those dope, amazing, and wonderful things FOR ME?”

As crazy as it sounds, that’s kinda been the battle in my head lately. I don’t know if it’s a “young” Christian thing or if it’s a Christian thing in general, but it is definitely something I’ve had to faced…or rather am facing.

Here’s my thing. I hear all these amazing testimonies, I read all these amazing stories in the bible, I hear all these great things God’s capable of doing...but then I sort of feel like there is a disconnect between what God can do and what He can do for me.

See, I believe that God will bless people with the desire’s of their hearts, but it’s much harder for me to believe that God will bless Courtney with the desires of Courtney’s heart.

For me, it’s easy to believe that God will withhold no good thing from you, but it’s a whole other ordeal to believe that God will withhold no good thing from Courtney. I have all these amazing, dope things that I want to happen in my life…career-wise, purpose-wise, finance-wise, family-wise…all this stuff, but are my desires REALLY worth fulfilling….so much so that He will actually fulfill them?

So, that’s where I’ve been. 

Fast forward to today:

I had a slightly rough day. It’s hot and everything didn’t happen the way I expected it to happen. Plus, it’s freakin 100 degrees outside and my brain was just mush. I came home and took like a 3-hour nap. I LITERALLY woke up thinking it was tomorrow.

I finally got enough strength to get out of bed and I went to YouTube to listen to Any Day Now by Korey Mickie. (Some people listen to Trap Music to get hype, I tend to listen to praise breaks…lol…judge me) 

As I’m listening to the song, He mentions Ezekiel 37. I’d heard the story a bunch of times but I wanted to read it. I’m reading it and it starts reminding me of all these other Scriptures that I’d been reading throughout the week.

So, at this point I’m flipping through a bible that I’ve had for about 3 years. I got it from my Grandma Jeanette’s bookshelf a few years back because the one I was using to study was falling apart and I knew it was my dad’s old bible, or so I thought.

I’d never seen the back inside cover of the book. There’re no scriptures there…so, there was no need to be back there. I happen to flip to the inside cover tonight and I see this handwritten note. At the top of the note it says “My husband will be a…” and then it starts to name all these attributes. I’m sitting here like, what is this? I look at the bottom of the message and see my Aunt’s signature, dated January of 1998! I go back and read the list and…..Y’ALL….this list LITERALLY described my Uncle to the T! Like EVERYTHING on the list is how I would describe my uncle without seeing the list. I’m spazzing at this point, like WHAT THE HECK?!?! 

At this point, I’m like...

MIND YOU, they didn’t get married until like 2007 and they didn’t even know each other even existed in ‘98. 

I couldn’t help it. The music was playing and I basically had a mini praise session for my Aunt because LITERALLY her EXACT desires had been met.

I was SOO FREAKIN AMAZED and then, in comes the Holy Spirit like, “Girl, God does this stuff all the time. Why are you so shocked?”

It hit me like a ton of bricks. If I fail to believe that He will give me MY heart’s desires, then I fail to believe that He is REALLY as good as He says He is. 

I texted my Aunt about what I saw. She ended up calling me later and through our conversation SO many things were confirmed.

Y’all.

God hears us. He feels us. He’s there. We’re not doing this alone. He’s willing to bless YOU withYOUR heart’s desires. The relationship He has with you is PERSONAL. No one can take it away…and when he says “No good thing will he withhold from you,” He’s talking about YOU…not this generalized, abstract person. No! He’s talking about YOU!!!!!

So, here’s to living life with new eyes and new revelations that because I delight myself in Him, He WILL give me the desires of my heart!

I dare you to make “you” personal!!!

Because COURTNEY delights herself in Him, He will give COURTNEY the desires of COURTNEY’S heart!!!!