No REALLY…You can let it go.

So, I’ll be honest. Lately, I’ve been on edge. I’m at that point in the semester where everything is attacking me at once. My Master’s defense is coming up. I have a Seminar presentation coming up. I have exams coming up. The bar is looming. EVERYTHING is just creeping up on me. I felt like I was holding on to a rope and my grip was loosening, but I found courage in the fact that I was at least still holding on.

Until this morning….

Y’all. Okay....so, I was involved in a little “fender-bender” this morning and I’ve never experienced that before. (My first reaction was not to call the police, but my daddy…that’s how shook I was…lol). I was good at the scene and even drove to school afterward…but when I got to class, anxiety came in like a FREIGHT train. I felt my body tensing and I felt as if I was 2 seconds from bursting into tears. Everything hit me (no pun intended) at once. I thought about the upcoming deadlines. I thought about the possibility of my parent’s insurance increasing. I thought about my projects. Meanwhile, I’m sitting in class, remember; so, then I start freaking out about the fact that I’m sitting in class not being able to pay attention to a word this man is saying….."Lord, what if this man is talking about something that will be on the exam.” 

It was getting out of hand.

I didn’t get up and leave the classroom because, honestly, I didn’t even know if my legs would function enough for me to make it to the restroom. I took out a piece of paper and I began to write out my thoughts. All of my worries and concerns…I literally started to write them down. Tears were building up and, as a decoy, I took my glasses off. (I mean, I can’t be crying in the middle of class…I’m too much of a G for that…lol).

Once I wrote out how I was feeling, the Holy Spirit just came in with an extreme sense of comfort. Scriptures about peace and God’s grace literally flooded my thoughts. Yet, it seemed as though just as scriptures were arising, so was my anxiety. (I mean, I’m doing this all in the middle of class…uhhhhhhhh….GOD, I need to be focusing on what this man is saying!)

It was at that moment that the Holy Spirit reminded me that I could actually let all of my worries go….if I gave myself permission. The Holy Spirit reminded me that I wasn’t meant to carry the burdens of all the stuff I had going on and if I gave myself permission to let it go I could, instead, focus on his grace. 

How many of us are living with burdens that God says we can give up? How many times have you given yourself permission to breathe, permission to rest in God’s arms, permission to live, permission to be present in the moment, permission to get over it, or permission to LET IT GO?

God makes it clear that we don’t have to succumb to negative thoughts, situations, or circumstances. Yes, we experience difficult things, but God is willing to deliver us out of them…if…we…let….HIM. 

See, often times we experience anxiety as a result of pride. We think too highly of ourselves and confuse our position in this relationship with God. We don’t have to hold on to the things burdening us. We don’t have to keep it. We are not tasked with the responsibility of carrying it. He wants you to give it to Him. Why choose to keep it?

Now, all of this is easier said than done. TRUST ME. I get it. The toughest battle is the one in your mind, but we have to take practical steps to successfully let “it” go.

Lamentations 3:21 is one of my FAVORITE scriptures. It simply says, “This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.” Whatever you are recalling to your mind should give you hope! If that “this” is not giving you hope, then you don’t need to ponder on it.

In my case, though, I’m a natural “fixer.” So, I try to rationalize situations and figure out how I can make it better or make some sense of it. That’s not how it’s suppose to work, though. In fact, Proverbs tells us NOT to lean to our own understanding, but to instead trust in the Lord.

“…but God, how can I do that if all of this is happening? What about this? What about that? How is this possible if that happened?”

It doesn’t matter. Trust God. Let it go and keep moving. 

It’s true that God gives us a light burden, but it’s only light because He helps us carry it. If it’s heavy, I’m not supposed to be carrying it. If it’s heavy, then my hands are too involved. It’s not my responsibility to make things happen. Yes, I understand that if it happens that means I can bear it….but that doesn’t mean I have to hold on to it. See, there’s a difference between “handling something” and “holding on to it.” Me effectively passing on the heaviness to God is “handling it.” Harboring those negative thoughts and succumbing to the pressures of it is “holding on to it,” something I ain gotta do.

Point being: Whatever your "it" is...or whatever "it" consists of...Give yourself the permission to be free. God has already called you into his marvelous light. Now, give yourself permission to step into it. Walk in it…and abide in it.