Silver Lining: From Inhale to Exhale
On Election Day, I had so much hope that Clinton could pull it through. That night I started to see Trump pulling away. I didn’t wanna believe it. So, I prayed that God would do SOMEthing and I went to bed. I woke up and my worst case scenario was confirmed.
I was a 1st year law student at the time so I had to go to class. I was debating whether or not to even go, but I, the black law student, wasn’t about to miss a day of lessons because America failed black people AGAIN.
I remember feeling so cold & empty. You gotta understand. My first time voting, EVER, was for a black man. My second time voting, EVER, was for a woman. SURELY...this indecent, lying bigot wasn’t about to take office. I thought America was way beyond such vile behavior. I was wrong...and that morning as I got ready for class...I was SQUARELY served a heaping platter of reality.
When I walked into the building, I had already gathered what little bit of energy I had. I opened the door and behold I was met with white smiling faces. Most of them were men, but there was one girl. I could see beyond all of their grins. While I felt like it was time to burn the country down, they were happy. I was the only black person in a room full of white smiling individuals.
Maybe I was tripping, but what did THEY have to smile about? America just DIED and they were experiencing gleeful bliss?
I can remember one guy making a comment about “at least it’s not Clinton.”
What?!
I wasn’t mad. I was sad. I was, honestly, lamenting.
I felt tears build up in my eyes and before I would EVER let anyone of them, whether they were paying attention or not, see this black woman cry...I left the classroom.
I went to the restroom, locked myself in a stall and I silently wept.
I wanted to go into that classroom and reprimand the false sense of joy those people had. I wanted to somehow get them to understand that it wasn’t about Clinton winning, but it was about upholding common decency.
What in the world could that woman have done in all of her political expertise and mishaps to have caused you to believe that giving a racist, sexists, narcissistic, foolish, lying, manipulative man power was the better choice?
I wanted to scream that, but I held it. I kept it. I inhaled it. I inhaled the smoke of that CLEAR message many people in America were sending. I inhaled every emotion that day, promising myself to face that day with dignity.
4 years later...I have the opportunity to exhale.
Let me explain.
For nearly 4 years, I sat and listened to lies.
For nearly 4 years, I watched racism revitalize itself.
For nearly 4 years, I sat and watched complacency give way to hate.
For nearly 4 years, I listened to a man who consistently encouraged “violence” in the name of “law and order.”
For nearly 4 years, I saw a crude man “lead” the free world.
For nearly 4 years, I listened as white and black evangelicals, my supposed sisters and brothers in Christ, praise this man who exhuded not ONE fruit of the spirit.
Today hits differently.
Now, I’m not the naive one to believe that Biden is the perfect candidate...and although there were/are those who believe that Trump is the next best thing to Christ...I refuse to place Biden or anyone else in that category.
Furthermore, I am very well aware where my help comes from. Quite honestly, if Trump won again...I know I would’ve been straight because my joy is anchored in God and God alone. (I’ve had roughly 4 years to learn that one.)
Nonetheless, today I can thank God that I can breathe...That I have an ADDITIONAL reason to smile...that that cold feeling from 4 years is warming...that more Americans than EVER before thought it important enough to at the very least speak out against hate.
I know all those “-isms” that Trump empowered aren’t gone...but if there ever was a silver lining, here’s one today.
The 46th President-elect is Joe Biden...and his VP is an HBCU-educated black and South-Asian woman, Kamala Harris.
I’m excited.
Now, let’s (Let US) get to work.
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